“The concept of the community supplying loving care for someone who is dying is one that I have known about since the 1980’s, when my husband Tim Elliott was instrumental in establishing the first community-based hospice in Canada, in King City Ontario. He connected two people who had experienced home care for a loved one who was dying. Barb Houlding and Jane Reid went on to establish co-ordinated hospice support for people who wished to die at home. That meant volunteer nurses, doctors, dog-walkers, gardeners, grocery-shoppers - you name it. I learned a lot then about what was needed and what was helpful.

So I came to understand, intellectually, that Hospice care is, or should be, a basic element of any village, town, or city.

I believed it, intellectually, and helped raise some funds for Rotary Hospice Stratford Perth by mounting public readings of A Christmas Carol at the Festival Theatre in 2017 and 2018, and again last December at Avondale. (Stay tuned for a reading again this year … we will have leading lights both in music and readers for a wonderful event this December.)

A longtime dear friend who moved to Stratford from King City, Mimi McEvenue, was able to die at home with her husband Geoff Love always close by. Mimi died before Rotary Hospice opened. She inspired Tim and me to become monthly givers to Rotary Hospice for a few years now.

Again, I comprehended the importance of loving care for someone who is dying, and for the family.

But an intellectual understanding is very different from actually experiencing what Rotary Hospice Stratford Perth gives. My mother, Valerie Maddren, reached the venerable age of 100 in March of this year. And a month and a half later, she died in hospice - on April 24th.. In the nine days that she was cared for in hospice, almost everyone in our family was able to visit her. And I was struck by the comment of one of my nieces … she said she feared she was entering a house of death, but it was actually a house of life.

And that is very true. The incredible view my mum had of magnolia trees, and “squirrel-feeders”, and ducks that came right up to the window to say hello, and people walking dogs, made her feel a part of life again.
That is even without experiencing the care she - and we - received. Thoughtful, innovative, respectful, empathetic, humane care.

My mum also appreciated the sense of humour that was very much alive in hospice. The carers and volunteers loved to chat when she was able, and always had a smile ready.

She felt so comfortable, she asked me to bring over a bottle of Chardonnay from her fridge at Anne Hathaway, in case she felt like a drink at the Hospice. The bottle was carefully stored in the nurse’s fridge.

I’m going to close with a description of her exit from Hospice on April 24th … her body on the gurney, covered by a beautiful quilt, being wheeled slowly out of the building. Tim and I, and all available staff in a procession behind the gurney. It is a very moving and important ritual.

At the last minute I remembered the bottle of wine.

So, while I followed behind, carrying the lit candle that signifies a death … my dear husband Tim walked alongside me, cradling the chilled bottle of Chardonnay in his right arm!

My mother would have loved it!!”